


Not In That Way

by leeminhyoongi



Series: Another Sad Love Song [1]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 19:59:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12065946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leeminhyoongi/pseuds/leeminhyoongi
Summary: Jihoon has always enjoyed playing games, but Woojin's already getting tired.





	Not In That Way

**Author's Note:**

> Reena tries writing angst for the very first time!
> 
> Also, not mandatory, but listen to Sam Smith's "Not In That Way" while reading! :-)

Jihoon has always enjoyed playing games. Too much sometimes, that Woojin has to remind himself that Jihoon’s older. Just by half a year, but still older.

 

 

 

 

 

One night during their Produce 101 season 2 days, both Woojin and Jihoon lie awake on their own beds. They both occupied the bottom bunks of adjacent double decks, so they had an idea if one was having difficulty falling asleep or the like.

“Yah, Park Woojin,” Jihoon whispered from his side of the bedroom. None of them had bothered to turn Haknyeon’s night lamp off, so its light illuminated Woojin’s face enough for Jihoon to note that the younger had raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement. “Can’t sleep?”

Woojin hummed in response. He was, however, about to turn to his side and try his luck at falling asleep again, when Jihoon slowly sat up on his bed. “What are you doing?”

Jihoon sat on his bed for a while, and pressed his lips together before licking them. “Come on,” he told Woojin as he completely got off his bed and walked toward the door.

“What? Where?” Woojin asked in disbelief, but he had gotten up from his bed and walked toward the door as well.

They stood in the hallway after Woojin did his best to close their bedroom door with the least amount of sound possible. Tired as they may have been, Jinyoung was a light sleeper, and neither Woojin nor Jihoon wanted to wake him or anybody else up.

Woojin looked at Jihoon for answers, but Jihoon only poked Woojin’s chest lightly with his index finger, and whispered, “You’re it.”

“What?” Woojin asked again. Jihoon had to muffle a laugh against his palm.

“Let’s play a game, hide and seek. You’re it, so you go find me after you count to twenty.”

Woojin gaped at Jihoon. “You’re kidding, right?” He asked, but Jihoon showed no signs of agreement to his statement. To emphasize his point, Woojin exaggeratedly scanned his eyes across the hallway, trying to ask Jihoon where exactly in this strip he would be able to hide.

“We can enter rooms,” Jihoon shrugged. “Plus points if you don’t wake anyone up.”

At this, Jihoon lightly pushed Woojin against their bedroom door and told him to start counting.

Woojin was still in a state of shock, but took a deep breath and started counting anyway. He could hear Jihoon’s feet lightly pad against the floor, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself. This is crazy, Woojin had thought, but the soft laugh Jihoon had let out as he slipped into one of the rooms was consoling enough for Woojin to turn around and find Jihoon.

 

 

 

 

 

They have just been allowed to go on a break after hours of make-up brushes and camera lenses pointing at their faces. Like everybody else, Woojin felt exhausted. Days after days of commercial filming and interviews and photoshoots had left them drained to the bone. Maybe it was because of the hype from Produce 101 season 2’s finale, maybe it was because of the incredulity of being a part of Wanna One and being so close to debuting, maybe it was because of the excitement of their first ever photoshoot—whatever it may have been, it gave Woojin enough energy to follow Jihoon when the older asked him if he wanted to join him in taking a look around the location.

They had arrived at a small patch of green land, and Woojin took a deep breath and inhaled the scent of freshly mowed grass. He closed his eyes and was feeling the breeze, when he was suddenly and roughly poked at the back. He spun around to see Jihoon running (waddling, if he had to be brutally honest) away from him.

“What the heck?” Woojin called after Jihoon, a hand reaching out to the now sore spot on his back.

“Let’s play tag!” Jihoon had yelled back from about five feet away. “You’re it.”

Woojin had wanted to say no, had wanted to ask why – why they were playing tag, why he was it, why Jihoon even had the strength to run around. But the smile in Jihoon’s eyes and the laughter on his lips made Woojin push his thoughts aside for another time as he chased after Jihoon instead.

 

 

 

 

 

They’re on a mini _staycation_ now, and both Woojin and Jihoon are lying prone on the younger’s bed, their CSAT books and materials open before them. Woojin sighs for what Jihoon thinks is the twentieth time just this past hour, so he closes one of his books in on his pink mechanical pencil.

“Bored?” Jihoon asks as he lays his head on this closed book and faces Woojin. “Tired?”

Woojin follows Jihoon, so now they’re lying beside each other, face to face. “Both,” Woojin answers with another sigh.

Jihoon chuckles as he reaches out to fix a few strands of Woojin’s hair that have swept over his eyes. Woojin’s eyes automatically close. This is something Jihoon does almost regularly now – when they’re rehearsing, when they’re eating, when they’re brushing their teeth. Woojin likes it, and he thinks Jihoon knows he does.

“Let’s say we aren’t idols, and we don’t act or dance or rap or sing,” Jihoon begins. His hand has now moved to Woojin’s cheek, right by Woojin’s ear, where his fingers do a little dance of some sort. “What do you think you’ll be doing now?”

Woojin looks at Jihoon’s eyes and stays silent for some time. He’s thinking. Of what he thinks he’ll be doing now, of whether or not he should tell Jihoon that for a while now (he doesn’t know exactly when, but he knows it’s been relatively long), Woojin has been harboring feelings for him. There’s something in the blaze in his eyes, something in the color of his cheeks, something in the lush of his lips, something in the whisper of his voice; something in the way Jihoon hides from Woojin when he’s embarrassed or shy, something in the way Jihoon runs away from Woojin when he’s playful or teasing, something in the way Jihoon touches Woojin’s hair, his face, his lips, his hands, his waist; something in Jihoon that has made Woojin fall in love with him along the way.

Jihoon’s thumb is grazing Woojin’s cheek now. “College. I think I could be majoring in something science, probably psychology.” Jihoon hums in response. “Maybe I could even try becoming a doctor.”

When Jihoon chuckles lightly, Woojin takes Jihoon’s hand into his own. Jihoon’s fingers are dancing with Woojin’s own ones now. Jihoon’s eyelids may be heavy, but it doesn’t stop Woojin from noticing how Jihoon’s looking right into Woojin’s eyes, and into his heart and mind and soul. It gives Woojin a little push to carry on. “I hope I’d be a successful one. Then you and I could buy a house on the beach like you’ve always wished. You and I could own tens of dogs and cats like you’ve always wanted. You and I could travel the world, and make each other breakfast and lunch and dinner, and lie on the sand or a twelve-inch feather mattress, and-.”

Woojin stops talking when he realizes Jihoon’s fingers have stopped dancing, but his own continue the piece. Woojin looks at Jihoon, especially his eyes, and he notes that they’ve lost their sparkle. Their mirth is gone, and something Woojin recognizes as apprehension settles on them instead.

Woojin knows this feeling, knows what’s coming all too well. He’s experienced it before – with this girl back in kindergarten, and another one in elementary school, with the first boy he’s ever liked in sixth grade, heck, even with casting managers from at least three companies he’s auditioned for.

Woojin’s hand lets go of Jihoon’s too quickly that they both slightly jump when it hits the mattress. Woojin doesn’t know what to do with his hands, with his eyes, so he opts to run a hand across his hair and close his eyes as he lies on his back instead.

“Fuck, I’m sorry?” Woojin offers, but he really doesn’t mean it. He isn’t sorry, and if anything, he thinks Jihoon should be the one apologizing. “I was kidding, joking, wanted to see how you’d react,” he adds, lamely, but he doesn’t want to admit it.

Jihoon lifts his torso off the bed, and slightly hovers over Woojin. Woojin bites his lip, because he knows Jihoon knows he’s lying. They’ve been roommates for a few months, co-members for as many as well, friends for who knows how long, of course Jihoon would know Woojin’s lying. Woojin would know when Jihoon was lying too.

But Woojin thinks Jihoon knows him a little better, because why didn’t he see this coming, why didn’t he see past Jihoon’s eyes and cheeks and lips and whispers and touches. Why didn’t Woojin see or know or feel that Jihoon doesn’t love, let alone like, him as much as he did.

“Woojin,” Jihoon’s voice is soft, and it sends shivers down Woojin’s spine. It isn’t the kind of soft that soothes Woojin when he’s lonely or tired. It’s the kind of soft that pities Woojin because he’s alone and unloved in the plans and the world that he’s made for himself and Jihoon. Him and Jihoon. Fuck, that sounds—sounded?—nice.

Woojin still has his eyes closed when he chuckles and waves Jihoon away. He quickly shifts himself so he’s back to his prone position with his books and materials all opened in front of him. He wants to hide, he wants to run away. He wants to ask Jihoon why – why Jihoon looked at him like he always did, why Jihoon smiled at him like he always did, why Jihoon touched him like he always did, why Jihoon played with Woojin’s feelings and heart and entire world like he did.

But he chooses a random question from one of the sample exams to ask instead.

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon has always enjoyed playing games. Too much sometimes, that Woojin has to remind himself that Jihoon’s a friend. Someone Woojin’s deeply and truly in love with, but still is and always will be just a friend.

**Author's Note:**

> How did I do???
> 
> My Twitter is @[park__lee](https://twitter.com/park__lee) if you guys want to see me talk about my love for the boys of 1999.


End file.
